In the interest of fair play, I am opening my filters to those of my friends that wish to be included. I should warn you now, what you read is indeed personal and I would ask that you get permission before sharing with anyone. If you feel you need to criticize, please keep it insightful. I'm not going to pretend what I have to say really means a hill of beans to anyone but me, but you are more than welcome to join, if you so wish.

I have my reasons for putting the filters on, some of my friends won't give a rat's ass about my sex life or poetry while others could care less about my SCA files or writing; to some it's just TMI. I'm trying to spare everyone my ramblings, indecisions, and rants. So, if you want in, let me know; otherwise, see you on the public pages.

I'm moving from an endless number of paper journals on my bookshelves, impossible to find when I need them and missing pages, to here (do you feel my frustration here). Time to move into the 21st century. Yes, that is where I've been when I haven't been here. I may be in the middle of something, so I apologize for the disjointed writing, and in some cases I'm going to start over so I have everything in one place.

Spiritual - tarot, explorations in ritual, musings, poetry, music, ideas, spell work, herbal workings, book reviews, so on and so forth.

Writing - yes, I'm working on something; no, these are not the written pages, they are elsewhere. This is my journal about writing - character development, dialog choices, ebb and flow, plot development, glitches, writers block and anything else that moves me, inspires me or otherwise gets me off my ass. It will contain some conversations with others about ideas as well. Disclaimer: this is not about, pertaining to, or otherwise associated with fanfic. Not that I don't enjoy it and have friends that write it, but it's not here.

Sex - pretty self explanatory, this is NOT a hop on pop type of place. If you aren't into some of the kinkier side of life, you may not want to be here.

SCA - these are my arts pages, documentation and research, fiber arts, scrolls, herbal, etc.

The public postings are where we all get along and play nice nice (at least in my world), my filters, not so much. My personal opinions and expressions are here, if you don't like them, I'm sorry, get over it, move on. You have your personal opinions, and I respectfully leave you to them. I expect the same in return.

Tags: filters
Current Mood: productive

I no longer entice or hold the glimmer of lust in the eyes of a young man.

I no longer walk to the tips of mountains and touch the sky.

I no longer run wild in the meadows and hold my babies in my arms.

I no longer feel I could, can and will do anything.

I no longer feel I can fix all things and make them better.

I no longer touch the faces of family and friends gone to the four winds.

I no longer cry out in bliss or sing the songs of times well past.

But, I did...oh yes I did them all...and I did them all well, so very well.

Current Music: Old songs long past their prime

Bjorn and I spent yesterday doing a bit of garden shopping/pricing. I've big plans this year to expand the garden into the back yard, with my beloved Shiloh no longer needing the space. I plan to make more room for space needy plants, such as corn and potatoes. Up to this point I've only had the front yard and have had to pull back my reins. It is my goal to become a locavore. I'd like to grow enough in the garden this year to sustain us through the winter. Bjorn has also promised to make me a greenhouse that will attach to the front of the house and enclose the front porch. This will give us a heat barrier for winter as well as housing tomatoes, greens, herbs and other fresh veggies for the winter and starters for the spring. I'm not sure we will get to the greenhouse this year. We've also been looking into the options of adding solar panels to reduce our costs as well as adding another room onto the house. We will have to see just how much we can get done and how long the money holds out. In today's economy that might get us the panels for sure and the expanded gardens, not sure about the rest. It looks as if the panels are only going to cost us about 5k and will reduce our cost 1/4 per double panel. We're talking about getting a home loan and putting in more insulation, radiant heat on the floors and the panels. Maybe we could work the greenhouse into that equation.

I'm putting in the normal root plants, beets, onions, carrots again this year. As well as expanding the peas and bean. I'm putting in a bean arch near where I put the tomatoes this year, I was thinking of an arbor but I hate to waste the ground space with shade and so have decided to make it just an arch with the beans growing up and over. In this way I can double the peas with them not having to share the fence with the beans any longer. I'm adding rainbow carrots this year for fun and diversity in salads and stews. I'm looking forward to them just because I've never grown them before. I've also changed the beets to a more space conscious variety in the hopes of getting more bang for my buck, so to speak. I'm planning to expand the raspberry and blackberry patch as well as finally getting around to a strawberry garden this year.

I'm going to add a Mountain Ash and a couple of hydrangeas and some Lewis' Mock Orange this year and am going to severally cut back on the sunflowers. Last year I was too tenderhearted about them and they took over the garden, along with a lack of planning and some neglect, I really didn't get much from the garden at all last year. I plan to amend all of this for 2009 and make it a bumper crop.

Bjorn has also promised me a water feature in the backyard. I'd like to make an sacred space and small waterfall, of which I've not made any definite plans yet, but will start to work on that soon, as the garden takes precedence.

Tags: garden
Current Mood: chipper

I will build the stone
Taken from mist and dark
Brought to the light

I will build the floor
Taken from rush and tree
Peeled and hewed

I will build the hearth
Taken from brick and board
Leveled and true

I will build the fire
Guarding the stone
Guarding the tree
Guarding the hearth
Guarding the household all

Tags: hearth, poetry, ritual, samhain

This is what happens when you can't sleep and start wondering around the web...

http://minibytes.mondominishows.com/poo/main.asp?affil=email

Tags: flamming bag of poo
Current Mood: groggy

Well I've done it. I had to put off a couple of things due to illness and work schedules but I've got the appointments for my knee, my tooth and my biopsy. Bjorn has also gotten the appointment to have the house assessed for solar panels. Looks like we've finally got our poop in a group. I'm also in the throws of planning a Samhain feast, and working with friends to make garb for Harvest Court on the 25th. It's going to be a very busy month. Not to mention pickling the beets, carrots and beans; harvesting the last of the garden and putting it to bed for the winter. I still can't believe we are all the way into October and I'm still watering, wow, talk about global warming.

Tags: biopsy, garb, garden, harvest court, knee, samhain, solar
Current Mood: busy

I am devastated, my companion for the past 17 years has passed. My dear old man finally got to the point where He couldn't see, could barely hear and was unable to walk. He's lost half of his body weight in the past three months and I couldn't stand to see him suffering any longer. Bjorn and I took him down to the local vet and had him put to sleep for the final time.

The house is beyond quiet right now.

Tags: shiloh
Current Mood: sad

The day I fell in love with the West Wind

I was a young mother, just starting to bloom with my
third child. We'd hiked all the way into the Pintlar
Wilderness Area and made our camp at Lake Ivanhoe, a
lovely little lake caught in the bowl of a mighty
mountain. We'd taken the boys because it was an easy
hike, less than a mile from the vehicle. I still
remember the songs to keep the boys entertained, Jake
hiked with me and Erik with his father. The children
still sing song high ho, high ho we're off to Ivanhoe,
to this day. My Kari girl was peacefully nestled next
to my heart and made the hike a bit tiring for me.

Jake and Erik were down by the water tossing rocks to
watch them ripple, their daddy was out fly fishing on
the other side of the lake and I was standing vigil as
only a mother can do, while her young children are
near water. It was a lovely autumn day, most likely
the last backpacking trip we'd make before winter set
in. I was standing in the sunlight watching the boys
and soaking in the warmth of the afternoon sun. It was
beautiful and you could just begin to smell autumn
coming over the rise of the mountain tops. A stiff
wind was blowing, and made me tie back my hair, to
keep it from continually blowing into my face.

It wasn't too much later the boys took off with
their father for a hike around the lake and I decided to hiked up
to the top of the bowl. There was a small saddle between the two
mountain tops that held the lake. It was a steep
climb, up and out of the trees, and I always want to
see what is just beyond the next rise, part of my curious nature. The wind had died down just a bit, as I was protected by the mountain side. As I got closer and closer to the top,
the wind picked up it's intensity. I'd finally reached
an open area and the wind was a torrent of motion. At

times I felt like it was going to blow me over, but my
curious nature kept me moving forward to the saddle,
several times I felt as if the wind was going to pick
me up and blow me all the way to the Montana prairies, but I
finally made it to my destination, the saddle between
the peaks. What a glorious site, two peaks flanked
on each side of me and the whole of the wilderness
spread out below me. It was a carpet of green, mingled
with the golds and yellows of autumn, behind me the
blue green of the lake. You have no idea how many
colors of green there are, but I'm sure they were all
spread out before me in patterns only nature could put
together and no man can duplicate. The wind continued
to push at me from the west, my jacket flapping like a
sheet against my body, so strong and powerful. Above me a hawk's cry, echoing and bouncing from one mountain top to another and
somewhere in the far distance another answering cry.
The wind was so strong, the hawk's cry so poignant, I
spread my arms and fell forward, and flew with my feet
firmly planted on the ground. The wind rushing over my
skin, and under my arms, between my legs, holding me
upright, while I leaned forward. For a moment in
time, I flew, arms outstretched, eyes wide open and the
whole of the world before me.

The West Wind held me upright, my heart beating
faster, my eyes tearing as I flew. I never left the
ground but the glorious nature of flight was felt deep
in my soul. I could feel my baby daughter rolling
inside my womb, flying with me on that autumn day.
They say the West Wind is the bringer of plenty, it is
the wind that brings the fleets back home from
fishing, it is the wind that seeks the land, it is the
wind that brings the rains rising up from the ocean
and dropping it's nurturing moisture upon the soil, it
is a conquering and settling wind; and I believe all
these things about the West Wind, but I also see it as
the spirit wind, the wild wind, the flying wind. I
understand now, Shelley's first lines in "Ode the
West Wind"

"O WILD West Wind, thou breath of Autumn's being
Thou from whose unseen presence the leaves dead
Are driven like ghosts from an enchanter fleeing,

Yellow, and black, and pale, and hectic red,
Pestilence-stricken multitudes! O thou
Who chariotest to their dark wintry bed

The wingèd seeds, where they lie cold and low,
Each like a corpse within its grave, until
Thine azure sister of the Spring shall blow

Her clarion o'er the dreaming earth, and fill
(Driving sweet buds like flocks to feed in air)
With living hues and odours plain and hill;

Wild Spirit, which art moving everywhere;
Destroyer and preserver; hear, O hear!

...Tameless, swift and proud"

I have been enchanted by the West Wind, it touches a
place deep in my soul that nothing else can reach, it
frees my spirit and helps me to soar. So while many
may call up the winds from the East, my love of wind
lies in the West.

Tags: backpacking, lake ivanhoe, west wind
Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Goats Dont Shave - The Evictions

In the next week my whole world is going to change, and in my opinion, not for the better. I applied and was accepted for a supervisor position at work, but they didn't tell us the schedules until after we were accepted. I can see why they did that, no one would apply. My world for the past 20 or so years has been that of an early bird. I wake up at around 4:30a to 5a and go to bed at between 7p and 8p. Thus far this has worked just fine, my inner clock has been ticking away, very happy and content. Now, I'm going to be working from 1p to midnight and my weekends are now going to be broken up between thur fri and sun. New schedules, new people, new job what's a old mole like myself going to do. ADJUST!!! ya I know, and I've heard the word more than I care to repeat these past few days. Big adjustment for you, you'll adjust in time, etc.... They will be paying me an extra .35 an hour for the "ADJUSTMENT" but Gods Kings and minor Deities I'm going to be lost for awhile. I am looking forward to the new job and the new people, I just hope I'll be able to stay awake long enough to remember their names.

Tags: changes, schedules, work
Current Mood: anxious

I was off on a Halloween hunt and found this wonderful place and had to share a couple of the stones I found particularly interesting.

http://cemeteries.wordpress.com









Went on to check-out the Woodman Society and found this interesting little ditty.

Song of the Woodman (Social Song)
Come to the Forest of Woodcraft,
To the flower, the shrub and the tree;
Come to the Forest of Woodcraft,
Partake of its pleasures with me.
Chorus—Come, come, come, come,
Come to that Forest with me, with me.
Repeat.
Come to the fountain of Woodcraft,
That’s flowing so fresh and so free;
Come to the fountain of Woodcraft,
And drink its pure waters with me.
Chorus—Come, come, come, come,
And drink its pure waters with me, with me.
Repeat.
Come to the bedside of sickness—
Of poverty, too, it may be;
Come to the bedside of sickness
And share its deep sorrows with me.
Chorus—Come, come, come, come,
And share its deep sorrows with me, with me.
Repeat.
Come to the grave of our Sovereign,
Sweet emblems upon it we see.
Come to the grave of our Sovereign,
Strew flowers upon it with me.
Chorus—Come, come, come, come,
Strew flowers upon it with me, with me
Repeat.

Tags: tree stones, woodman
Current Mood: curious